When a couple meets and falls in love, they are in such a blissful period of their life, and they never really think too much about the future. It is a great feeling to love and be loved, and most couples end up thinking that the feelings they have towards each other mean that they know one another. There is a high divorce rate in America today. Most of it would have been avoided if most couples took the time to get to know one another a little better in premarital counseling.
Most couples meet when they are young, and they get married. A few kids down the line or years later, and they begin to notice things that they had not seen before in the other partner, and they begin to grow apart. In most instances, the reasons for divorce are infidelity, domestic raffles, financial issues, and other irreconcilable differences.
Nonetheless, some couples have salvaged what was left in their marriages after the damage was done and they were able to work things out. If you are in a situation where your marriage is falling apart and asking yourself, ‘can marriage counseling prevent a divorce?’ You are asking the right questions. Most couples who want to save their marriage prefer to give divorce counseling or marriage therapy a chance before making any drastic decisions.
How Can Marriage Counseling Prevent a Divorce?
It takes two to tango. Suppose both parties are ready and willing to attend marriage counseling sessions and work together to solve the conflict revolving around their marriage. In that case, there is a high possibility of the marriage being restored. After a couple tries their best to solve the issue independently, they can decide to let someone else into their marriage who can act as a mediator between them and help them come to an understanding.
When a marriage is having issues, and couples are constantly arguing, they are unable to clearly communicate and hence cannot understand one another. The marriage counselor may be able to help them communicate effectively.
The effectiveness of marriage counselors to act as mediators listens to each person’s side of the story and encourages the couple to show mutual respect will as well determine the success of counseling. This way, they can both hear one another’s grievances and understand each other.
If you are having issues in your marriage, the best thing to do is seek help before you get to the point of deciding to call it quits. Doctors are there to treat. Each professional has a role that they play in society, allowing individuals to seek services from them. A marriage counselor plays the role of helping couples work on their issues. If you are struggling in your marriage, it is advisable to attend couples counseling. Seek the help of a professional marriage counselor. If visiting a family therapist, make sure that they have a license.
What marriage counseling does is help the married couple understand the root of the problem in their marriage. After realizing the issues affecting the marriage, they then work towards finding reasonable solutions. Most couples visit a couples counselor a few days or months before the divorce when the damage is already done beyond repair. There have still been some marriages that have been repaired within time, but the success rate is not very high. Before a couple gets to the point of divorce, they may have already been having issues for some time.
The success rate of family therapy working depends on how early the couple comes in for counseling after having issues. As time goes by in a marriage and they continue to deal with the same problems, most of them are no longer willing to work on the marriage, and they just want to part ways.
What Do I Do to Stop a Divorce from Happening?
If only one party wants a divorce and the other person is not ready to separate or didn’t see it coming, it can be challenging. There are several things that you can do to try and save your marriage and avoid divorce.
Respect Your Partners Decision
It is normal to be taken back by their decision or their request for a divorce. Even if it is hurtful and not what you want, you should understand that your partner’s feelings are justified, and they are entitled to their own thoughts. Do not try to change their opinions with your words or by being forceful.
Validate Their Choice
Even though it is not easy, show them that you understand why they want to walk out of the marriage. Mentions some of the behaviors that you feel have prompted this move. Maybe you have not supported them as you should, you could have been more loving, or you may perhaps have left them on their own a lot of times in the past few years since you were busy working and traveling.
Keep Your Emotions in Check
When humans sense a threat, their most usual reaction is fight or flight. When you hear about your partner’s decision, it is normal to feel angry, disappointed, frustrated, and depressed. However, you don’t want to show these emotions since they will not portray you in the best light. Instead, remain calm, kind, loving, and mature about the situation.
Instead of chasing after your partner after they have made their decision, retreat and give them their space. Chasing after them and constantly trying to change their mind will only make them want to get further away from you. Engage yourself in other things and give them space to miss you.
Change a few Things about Yourself
It is easy to pin the divorce on your partner, especially since they are the ones that have brought it up. It is good to note some of the things about yourself that you need to change. You may not be able to change your partner, but you can change certain things about yourself. If you decide to try again, you will both need to change, but you should work on yourself in the meantime. When you feel frustrated and want to vent, do not call your partner. Have a support group that is either your friends or families that you can talk to. Even as you continue seeing a therapist together, you can visit your own therapist.
Establish Contact Anew
When things have cooled off, and you decide to meet up for lunch or coffee, concentrate on the positive. Also, find out where you are and if you are both willing to work things out.
Establish New Ground Rules for Your Relationship
Give the relationship a new direction. You can ask them to stop threatening for a divorce and see if you can work things out. Even as your own feelings are important, you want to consider the other party’s feelings as well. In case you run into a bit of resistance, you can confirm that you both need to learn how to communicate better and communicate your willingness to learn.
Even after taking all these steps, it is not a guarantee that your partner will want to stay. They may still decide to go forward with the divorce. If they do, it may be time to look for an experienced divorce lawyer to represent. You can comfort yourself in the fact that you tried. At Brighter Day℠ Law, we understand where you are coming from, and we want to stand with you. Call us and let us know how we can help in regard to your divorce process.
The Difference between Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy
Marriage counseling is more focused on what is happening currently in your marriage. The focus is on the present challenges your marriage is suffering from and how you can find a solution and get back on track.
Couples therapy also deals with what is presently happening in the marriage. However, it also concentrates on past behaviors and patterns that have led to the unhealthy relationship stage you are in as a couple. You get to look back on fights you could have had in the past and get to the root cause of it all.
Both are effective and only depend on the issues surrounding the marriage and what the couple prefers.
How to Fix a Marriage That Is on the Brink of Divorce
When the marriage is at its final stage, and you are trying to make a last-minute save, most of what you can do is hope. However, even though it seems impossible, here are some of the things that you can try?
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable
- Understand you both have a choice to either make it work or to go through with the divorce.
- Refresh your partner’s memory of how you met
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable
- Start a project together
- Be ready for any outcome
The Need for Premarital Counseling
Before getting into a marriage, you want to make sure that you know who you are getting married to and be not only swept away by emotions. Know about their credit history, temperaments, and issues that could later affect your marriage. Premarital counseling will help you understand if you are choosing the right partner. If you are, it will prepare you to understand what to expect later on in marriage.
Signs That You Should Get a Divorce
Not all marriages are salvageable. Suppose there are issues of domestic violence, multiple infidelities, or a criminal offense. In that case, it may be risky to try are resolve the marriage.
Also, if you have attended marital counseling or therapy and you just can’t seem to agree on anything, it may be a time to call it quits. We have the resources and the right skills to help see you through the process of divorce. Give our divorce attorneys a call, and let’s work on your case!