How Do I Know If My Divorce Could Be High Conflict?
Many couples whose relationship is ending in divorce are doing so because of complicated issues of conflict and lack of communication. However, those issues don’t always translate into a high-conflict divorce. Many individuals facing a divorce may be uncertain if the standard divorce process is right for them. As is often the case in many family law issues, the heightened emotional nature of the situation because of its intense personal connections set it apart from other types of legal cases.
In those situations, it is often a good decision to consider mediation as an alternative to the straightforward court proceedings. A mediation can be the right decision to give both parties the distance, neutrality, and even ground for them to come to the most important decisions about the divorce and what comes after, without adding undue conflict and stress to the equation. When you partner with a knowledgeable and experienced legal team like the one at Brighter Day Law, you can feel safe knowing that you’re doing the best thing for yourself and your future.
What is Divorce Mediation and How Can It Help Me?
In the state of Colorado, couples who have decided to get divorced have the option to, instead of proceeding directly into the courtroom, move the complicated and nuanced discussions and decisions to a neutral third party venue known as mediation. Mediation is a place in which that neutral third party, frequently a trained and experienced mediator and sometimes even a former judge or other officer of the court, brings the parties together to attempt to calmly and productively come to the most important decisions by way of agreement and consensus rather than having the court “lay down the law” for the parties involved.
There are several advantages to going through mediation before heading into the courtroom. First of all, the environment is designed to be less confrontational than the courtroom. As opposed to the “two opposing sides” in a court case, a mediation is about two people meeting and working together. Everyone is ideally on the same side, and that energy and focus is beneficial to the parties involved.
Secondly, mediation can potentially be less expensive and faster than the standard litigation process. If you come to the table prepared to genuinely work it out and end the relationship on a productive note, it can be surprisingly speedy and less costly. The court process will move the speed it moves, and that can often be slow. This can help you conclude and move on faster.
And lastly, this process gives you and your ex more control and influence over the final results of the divorce. While it may be tempting to go into a courtroom in the hopes of hearing a judge tell your ex what they need to do, keep in mind that they won’t always find in your favor on every point and detail. Once the court has made up their mind, it carries the weight of the law. However, in a mediation, there is room for discussion, nuance, and the ability to make reasonable points that can convince the other party. That is invaluable in feeling like you have some sense of ownership in the final result of the process.
What Are the Issues That Cause Mediation to Be Ineffective?
It should of course be noted that mediation will not work for all parties, which is the reason for the existence of family law courts to begin with. If everyone could get along well enough to make the most logical and helpful decision in the midst of extreme emotional circumstances, we wouldn’t need divorce court. But that’s simply not the case.
For instance, there are a few things that will make mediation much more difficult or potentially impossible for certain parties. The first and most obvious is if both parties were not mutually in agreement about the divorce to begin with. If there is resistance on one side or the other, then there can be no trust that the mediation is being done in earnest.
Another issue would be if either of the parties has been less than transparent about their financial situation. If issues of undisclosed debt come up, or potentially one partner is secretly saving and hiding money while in the relationship, that creates a complication regarding mediation because much of the conversation will be built on untruthful grounds. That level of distrust makes mediation challenging.
And finally, if there are children involved wherein the parents don’t agree clearly on parenting plans together. While exes may be comfortable with the other going off and living their life however they wish, that feeling doesn’t always extend to how that will affect the lives of any children in their family. Because of that, mediation can often break down when certain issues of custody, support, or upbringing come into play.
Do I Need an Attorney for My Divorce Mediation?
Like many legal issues in the United States, and particularly in the state of Colorado, you are not required by law to have an attorney while going through the mediation process. However, not being required is not the same as whether or not you need one. The truth is, it is not a good idea to attend mediation without a lawyer, and especially if your ex has one.
This can lead to an imbalance of knowledge and power, as an attorney knows many of the legal circumstances and can more properly prepare your ex for the proceedings than you will be. That means potentially not realizing some of the rights and privileges that you should receive or fight for.
A knowledgeable attorney team like the one at Brighter Day Law can help you understand the details of the mediation process, arm you with the right strategies to get the most productive and fair result, and make the entire proceeding less intimidating and stressful. Don’t risk your future financial and personal well-being by showing up alone and potentially unprepared for mediation. Give us a call at (719) 733-9129 so we can get to work for you today!