Dealing With Depression And Divorce
September 13, 2021
Couples get married and hope to be together for their entire lives. Along their way to a happily ever after, one of the couples decides to be unfaithful or what used to be a happy home becomes a war zone when one partner becomes abusive. At times to cope with the stress of everyday life, one can turn to alcohol and substance abuse. Despite them wanting to work it out, it has reached that point where one of them has decided that it is time to part ways and live their life separate. At times it is a mutual agreement where the couple agrees to go through the process of divorce since they grew apart or constantly argued.
No matter the reason for a divorce, the association between depression and divorce cannot be ignored. Many people face stress during the divorce process in Colorado Springs, Colorado. It turns into depression if the cause of stress is not addressed.
Aside from postpartum depression, where a woman can become really stressed after childbirth and if it persists for a more extended period can be a cause for divorce in a marriage. Even if it is a risk for divorce, it is unlikely for couples to separate because of postpartum depression. Most of the time, depression will come after or during the experience of divorce.
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Effects of Depression on Marriage
Some people will be more depressed than others. Depending on how depressed an individual is, they may lose the sense of being in touch with the world. They are no longer attentive to what is going on around them. Eventually, it may lead to them giving up on life. Here are symptoms of depression. You’ll notice changes in behaviors in that:
- Some tend to overeat
- While some of them will not eat as much since they suffer from a loss of appetite
- Their sleeping patterns changes. They either sleep all day, or they don’t sleep much.
- They have a hard time concentrating on anything and having conversations with other people.
- At times their own personal hygiene becomes compromised.
Most of the time, individuals know that it is their place to take on specific roles, but they never take on any of the tasks.
The other partner rises to the occasion and picks up the slack. They take care of their children, carry out the household chores that have been left unattended, and try to understand what the other partner is going through. However, as it becomes usual and no changes are seen, the other party can get frustrated and overwhelmed. Frustration and being overwhelmed by having to take off everything at home alone can lead to the other party becoming angry or resentful.
Suppose one of the spouses is not depressed and has never gone through depression themselves. In that case, they do not understand what the other is going through. They don’t understand their mood change, and they feel that it is something that they should snap out of.
The frustration of the other spouse is understandable. Since the other spouse is withdrawn from life in general, they no longer do the activities they used to do together. They no longer go out for dinners, to a movie, or picnics if they use to. What spiced up their relationship becomes non-existent. If during the time they dated, they used to do all of these fun activities together, it could be the reason why they came together and decided to get married since they shared the same interests.
The lack of interest in engaging in any activities added up to taking up all responsibilities puts a toll on the marriage. This can cause marital discord. Marital dissatisfaction can be one of the causes of depression despite one of the coupe thinking that the union is doing well.
What Is The Root Cause of Depression?
Some stressful life events can trigger depression. When someone losses their parents, a child, a job, or maybe even suffers from several miscarriages, they can sink into depression. People who suffer from depression most of the time due to life-changing situations like grief and loss are likely to recover more quickly.
However, if some of the situations in their life persist, they can get major depression. For example, if a woman trying to have a baby suffers the loss of several miscarriages, it can lead to depression since they may feel that there is no solution for what they are going through.
For some people, depression can be triggered again if a similar event happens in their life. If they have a history of depression, they face the risk for depression again after a trigger. Depression that occurs after a life-changing event is known as situational depression or adjustment disorder. Chronic depression can be categorized as clinical depression. The symptoms are similar for both kinds of depression.
How to Seek Help for Depression While In and Out of Marriage
Getting help as a married couple for depression where one party is depressed is a move in the right direction. Usually, when one of the parties is depressed, the one who isn’t may have already tried to convince the other to get medical help, in which case they declined. However, if they decided to access the counselling services together, the other party can agree.
As a couple attending couple therapy together, the therapist will help you to understand one another during initial assessment so you can move forward. The couple who is not depressed will be able to see the side of their depressed partner and understand the social stigma that comes with accepting speaking up an accepting help when depressed. Also, the depressed partner will see the role they are playing in deteriorating the marriage and the consequences if they are not willing to change. The therapist interaction with depression patients and counseling techniques will as well determine results.
If one is suffering from depression after marriage, it may be due to a sudden change of events. Sometimes couples are not ready for the divorce, and even if they are, they have not foreseen the future. When reality hits, it causes stress due to a whole new emotional experience which then leads to the individual suffering from depression. Individuals can also be depressed if they came out of a marriage where the partner was either physically or emotionally abusive.
To avoid sinking deep in depression, get help as soon as you realize that you and your partner are getting separated.
How Do You Manage Stress After Divorce?
How you recover from divorce will vary and will be different from somebody else’s discovery journey. Some people will recover in a matter of weeks, while some will take months and years to recover from the separation. It can depend on whether some of the unions are long-term marriages or other factors. Aside from getting counseling alone, here are a few other activities you can take to recover from situational depression after a divorce.
Keep a Journal
Even if you have friends and family who you talk to and a therapist who you see regularly, it may at times be impossible to air out your range of emotions to them. If you are not near them and still need to let it out, a journal is an excellent way to do that.
Come Up With a Daily Exercise Routine
It may not be fun at first since you will be basically forcing yourself to exercise, but as your body adjusts to your routine, you will feel much better. Several researchers have stated that exercising for twenty to forty minutes a day, three days a week, will reduce depression. You can choose to go jogging, walking, or take Zumba workout classes.
Maintain a Healthy Diet
Instead of eating fast foods and snacks that are your comfort foods when you are frustrated, incorporate vegetables. Taking alcohol is probably not the best thing either. Prepare hearty and wholesome meals with healthy ingredients and great flavors.
Take Care of Yourself a Little Bit More than You Do Normally
Schedule a spa day alone without your kids or watch your favorite movies. Create time to engage in some of your hobbies and interests. You may not feel interested in much at first, but as you keep pushing yourself, you will be able to feel relaxed and well-rested, and you will find joy in the things that you once found joy in.
Don’t Refuse Help
Your family may come around and offer to cook and take care of your kids for some time so you can relax. Don’t shut them down. Take as much help as you can.
Go out, spend time with people, and make sure you are getting enough sleep.
Helping Kids Deal with a Divorce
After the physical separation happens, the divorce will be hard on children. They can become angry and begin to lash out or even become rebellious. there is an association between separation and changes in children’s behavior. Talk to your kids and give them reassurance as the parents. They may just want to feel safe and not know how to express it since they have all these negative emotions bottled up, which was the family life they had before marital separation, which has been broken after the parental divorce.
Join support groups, talk to someone who has been through a divorce, and they can tell you how they overcame. Don’t walk the journey alone.
Divorce and separation can be painful for everyone involved. pain is one of the consequences of divorce. Still, through willingness, effort, and support from others, you can persevere and adjust to your new life.