What If I Think My Spouse Is Cheating?
December 22, 2021
If you’re asking yourself, “How do I know if my partner is cheating,” this means you already suspect they’re cheating, or something is amiss in your relationship. The signs of infidelity vary from one relationship to another, however, there are some common traits you can look for. Usually, if your gut tells you that your spouse is cheating, it may be right. But you have to gather enough evidence before confronting them about their behavior.
Here at Brighter Day℠ Law, we help people who are going through the toughest time in their lives. We use our creativity and advocacy to offer hope, peace of mind, and encouragement during these challenging times.
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What To Do If You Suspect Your Spouse is Cheating
Facing the reality of infidelity in your relationship is challenging. But this can give you a clear picture of your relationship. These six steps can help you grow emotionally if your partner is cheating on you:
- Identify your feelings. Nobody knows you better than yourself, but if you’re too busy that you’re unaware of your feelings, you’re missing out on a tremendous opportunity. You’re unique and have inborn worth for just being you. You deserve someone who treats you respectfully–emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you think your partner is cheating on you, start by identifying what you’re feeling. In most cases, anger is the tip of the iceberg. There are deeper feelings that fuel it; try to identify these feelings. Journaling can help you vent and identify deeper feelings. Also, drawing or painting how you feel can help you identify your feelings.
- Talk to your spouse about your feelings and concerns. After identifying how you really feel, talk to your partner and tell them how their behavior affects you. Talk to them calmly, because an angry tone will only make them defensive and they’ll not hear you out. Thus, talk about your deeper feelings in a calm tone so they can hear what you’re going through. Do this for yourself, not for them. Stand up for yourself and address their behavior and maintain your self-esteem.
- Watch their reaction and body language. If your husband or wife is cheating on you, they may respond by denying it, blaming you, or they may respond angrily. Watch out for the following behaviors: Is he/she posturing over you (for power or control) or are they looking down at the floor out of shame and deceit or are they humble and sorry for what they have done?
- Provide evidence. Using photos, sexting dialogue on your spouse’s phone, credit card statements with mysterious charges, hidden email accounts, or dating apps on their phone to hook up with others, you can prove the affair. Show them that evidence. Your partner may deny cheating on you until you show them the actual evidence. If you have access to your husband or wife’s phone or social media, you may be able to find evidence of cheating.
- Demand honesty. After confronting your spouse with evidence of their infidelity, ask them to be honest with you. If this is a constant thing, you may need to hire a sex addiction therapist, or a family therapist if it’s a one-time affair.
- Set appropriate emotional and physical boundaries for your self-care. Be ready to set emotional and physical boundaries to keep yourself safe and sane. For instance, if your partner has visited strip clubs or has had any sexual interaction with another person, get STD testing for your own safety.
How Do You Catch a Cheating Spouse?
It’s very difficult to catch a cheating spouse. This is because most people don’t know how to investigate a spouse. But if you want to catch a cheating spouse, start from the beginning and understand the nature of the problem completely.
Catching a cheating spouse is a daunting task because cheaters have an unfair advantage when it comes to infidelity and nefarious behavior. Thus, most infidelity goes undetected and unproven because the rules of the game favor cheaters.
It’s reasonable to think your spouse is cheating when you see strange behavior, especially if your relationship is going through a rocky patch. Changes in your spouse’s habits and strange behavior may be linked to infidelity, so monitor these things. According to statistics, 85% of women who feel their partner is cheating are correct, and 50% of men who feel their partner is cheating are correct.
However, if you think your spouse is cheating on you, and you’re contemplating divorce, don’t represent yourself. An impartial Colorado Springs divorce lawyer is crucial when dealing with often intense emotions involved in these situations. An attorney will do what’s necessary to protect your assets, time, and children from a bad or unfair outcome.
How Can I Prove My Spouse Is Cheating in Court
To prove infidelity, first, you must understand the definition of infidelity and/or adultery. Every state varies on the specific meaning, but most states define infidelity or unfaithfulness as the involuntary failure to comply with tacit or explicit sexual morals, such as commitment to monogamy. Infidelity, on the other hand, is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone who isn’t their lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, any unmarried person who is involved with a married person is seen as an adulterer.
Hire a Divorce Attorney
Proving infidelity is difficult, whether you’re trying to convince the judge that you’re filing for divorce because it’s your spouse’s fault, or you’re using the misconduct for other and divorce-related issues. The best way to make sure the court accepts your evidence is to hire an experienced family law attorney who is familiar with the state-specific evidence laws.
Note that showing that your spouse had the opportunity and desire to cheat isn’t enough: You must prove that they followed through with their intentions.
Present Solid Evidence, Not Feelings
As much as infidelity can hurt your feelings, the court won’t rule in your favor if you provide evidence based on your emotions. You must find people who are ready to testify in court about their experience and provide any physical evidence to prove your claim.
Other common types of evidence that prove infidelity might include:
- Or your spouse’s admission to infidelity.
Sometimes, you can use indirect or circumstantial evidence to prove your allegations. Indirect evidence includes bank or credit card statements proving your spouse was buying gifts for their lover, phone records showing phone calls between the two, email and text message copies between your spouse and their lover, and airline and hotel records related to any trips or vacations they took together.
Circumstantial evidence is the best way to prove infidelity. However, if you can also prove your spouse’s desire and ability to cheat, this may be enough to win your case.
However, showing the court your husband or wife’s dating profile isn’t enough to prove that they had an affair, even though you combine this with suggestive text messages. Remember, it’s not enough to show that your spouse had the opportunity and desire to cheat, you must show that they followed through with their intentions.
Also, when presenting your evidence in court, you must prove that you got it legally. You must show that you didn’t break any state or federal laws to get your evidence. If you can’t authenticate your evidence, the court won’t accept it as valid.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you and you’re contemplating divorce, speak with an experienced family law attorney before you file your case to learn more about your state’s no-fault and fault divorce laws.
If You Think Your Spouse Is Cheating on You – Contact Us Today!
If you suspect your husband or wife is cheating, it’s up to you how you will handle it. Some people confront the issue and are able to repair their marriage through counseling. Others can’t repair their marriage and end up divorcing. In this case, proof of infidelity determines the court’s decision. Here at Brighter Day℠ Law, our Colorado Springs family law attorneys work with you to prove infidelity and demand your rights under the law. Contact us today at (719) 225-4443 or chat with us online to discuss your options.